Get rich fast and die trying

I have found a new favourite website.

Starnow.

You can find jobs for a variety of different media vacancies, like being Miss England, being a TV extra, a musician or photographer.

Some of my favourite are from the Magazines and Newspapers section. This really is were journalism sells out. I'm not sure if this is a contributing factor to the state of journalism today or a product.
Basically you will be paid for writing stories of various problems you've had or things happen to you.

Some of my favourite ones are;

Did Computer Games Make You Turn To a Life of Crime?
A national newspaper wants your story and will pay hundreds of pounds to the right person.
Write a few lines about how computer games turned you to crime and if it's something we like, we'll call you straight back.

"Yes I was playing Mario Kart when I decided to go joy ride and chuck turtle shells at people in front of me. Although the downside was someone through some squid ink in my eyes and I couldn't see for 30 seconds."

My brush with facebook
Have you missed out on a job opportunity or discovered your partner was having an affair through using facebook?
Have you been sacked because of a silly picture you had on your site?
A woman's glossy weekly magazine wants to hear from you and will pay for your time and trouble.
Please apply now to take part or for more information.

I can imagine everyone, of you female readers, will be able to add 2cents to that.

Playing the same lotto numbers for more than 10 years and never won?
Have you been playing the same lotto numbers for ten years or more each week but are not giving up.
I need your story - I need to speak to you for a series I am doing for a women's magazine
Please include your phone number in reply as it is often not in the profile.
You'll be interviewed on the phone, need to provide a couple of pics as well
Please apply now to take part or for more information.

There is something great about loyalty. But you have to learn when to change.

Weird and wacky weddings
Did you opt for something out of the ordinary when you tied the knot?
A women's magazine is looking for brides who bucked the white wedding trend. So maybe you made your big day fancy dress, your dog was a bridesmaid, or you got married with dolphins?
Whatever your story, if you haven't appeared in a women's magazine before then please apply today....

What are the chances Jordan is thinking "damn it, if I change my name to Jordont will anyone recognise my wedding photos"?
If any story can get printed without a personal quote from the bride saying "people have always said I'm a bit mental hehe" then I will gladly except that journalism is only just hitting it's peak.

Is your name Jesus or do you have a birthday on 25th Dec?
Is your name Jesus first or middle?
Do you have a birthday on Dec 25th?
I would love to hear form you for a UK womens magazine story.
You will be interviewed on phone, need to send pics and possibly take part in photo shoot.
Please include your phone number I reply as I am under deadline
Please no time wasters - only apply if you are prepared to be involved in the article.

I don't even know where to start with this.
How did they get this idea past the editor?
What made them think this would be good?
Have they already cleared some space above the fireplace for their Pulitzer?
What made them think writing "please no time wasters" would deter anyone?
Do they have the internet in Longview Psychiatric Unit?
Will this be there lead story?

Anyway, I highly recommend you check out the site. You might be able to make some extra cash. If your story gets published just remember me ;)

A little bit of Radiohead news.

Not content with distributing In Rainbows in their own way, Radiohead have another way of marketing their singles.

With the release of Nude just around the corner (next Monday on CD single or can be downloaded now at some online stores) Radiohead have set up a website so people can buy seperate components of the song, ie bass, voice, guitar and remix their own version. If they want to people can also upload their creation and have everyone vote on them.

radioheadremix.com

Thats much better then just sticking it Capital Radios 8 song playlist.

Neat.

PS Radiohead take over BBC Radio2 today with a whole bunch of live performances and interviews. It all kicks off at 2.

Happy April Fools

Happy April Fools day people. This is always one of my favourite days as I like taking part in, reading about, seeing practical jokes.

Unfortunately I haven't got the chance to carry out any practical jokes as the missus was far too asleep this morning to realise I would even be speaking to her.

But really it doesn't get any better then this

The Cottingley Fairies.

I salute you Frances Griffiths and Elsie Wright, great work. Genius stuff from some creative kids.

Obviously some modern day ones are taken far too seriously, like this one from The Sun saying Fabio Capello can't be bothered learning English so has told the England squad to learn Italian.
Some of the 'Reader Comments' are pretty idiotic. Football fans at times can be a proper stupid bunch.
One fan Man United fan said "The clue is in the job title, "England Manager", if you cant lean it, take a hike!"

What has been your favourite practical joke, either in popular culture or something more personal to you?
Have you done any pranks this morning?

PS, I'd just like to add, my favourite piece of news today, in a non-joke way, is the reports of the man who lost his house over the weekend when the plane crashed in to it. With the greatest respect to the pilot and crews families, I couldn't help but smile at news that the man of the house won't be returning home just yet as he is finishing off his golfing holiday and his wife has good taste so she can do the decorating.

I can't believe it's spreadable.

On a recent Big Shop we picked up a different butter to normal, due to our prefered bread spread not having a smaller tub size.
But not all went too plan.

This other brand boasts that it's Spreadable, which is always a selling point in my eyes. If a butter/margarine can spread on bread within seconds of being taken out of the fridge, WITHOUT leaving holes then thats just perfect. (Something our favoured brand does, without boasting)

This butter , despite having Spreadable on its lid and sides, just tore up my bread when taken out of the fridge due to it being too hard.

No problem we can just leave it on the side.
This though, I feel, makes the Spreadable wording on lid and sides pretty pointless as all butter is Spreadable at room temperature, thats a Fact.
So what they are advertising here is basically the natural properties of putter. If they were in the bottled water business would they stick 'Wet' on the sides of their bottles?

But this specially Spreadable butter turns in to some sort of thick soup when left a room temperature.

A soupy butter

Soup butter is far too runny. It acts like an oil on the bread, rather being one with the bread. It falls off the knife causing a mess. It doesn't have the same 'mouth-feel.'
It's. Just. Not. Butter.

Now I have to think about sandwiches 15 minutes earlier to give myself enough preperation. And it doesn't help that the clocks went forward and hour, now I can't tell if I would like a tasty sandwich or if I had just had one?

What the frek where the butter guys thinking when they decided to make a Spreadable butter that was too hard when in the fridge and too runny when at room temperature? Those fools!

PS Please no one comment on the differences between butter and margarine. I've taken some artistic lisence.

Games I'm Playing Week 1

So trying to find a topic thats not Spain related so not to bore you all, let's go over games I am currently playing.

Having tried to get rid of a dozen or so games lately to lower baggage weight (I promise thats the only Spain related drop) I almost traded in Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles with a bunch of others, despite having only played just over an hour of it.

It wasn't until the shop assitant shown me my hidden £16 credit under my £2 credit note that I decided to keep hold of Umbrella Chronicles.

On my second time round I'm really getting in to this game. It's an "on the rails shooter" meaning you can only aim at the screen and have no control over the character movement.
There are other options in the game that I completely missed first time round, like side missions and upgrading of weapons, which makes the game much deeper and alot more fun.

I'm glad that I got the chance to give Umbrella Chronicles a second go, I've fallen a bit for it and it's a highly enjoyable game.

For those looking for some cheap thrills on their Wii I highly recommend this pick up and play title.

Anyone want to add my Friend Code, it's 4859 7530 9312 3844. Just drop me a comment to let me know.

Me tengo que ir

Or "I have to go"

Around me boxes are being packed. The office is relocating soon. Just like me. I'm sure there is a metaphor in there I could be using.

But that time has come, I have just handed in my notice with work.

Just a few more days and then woooooosh.

¿qué tiempo hace hoy?

Or What is the weather like doing* today?
*It's important to treat the weather like a person, it "does" stuff, it does not "like stuff, ie walks on the beach, late nights out with friends."

It's getting close to the Big Move.

If we were able to fast forward two weeks, right now me and the missus would be either doing what we should and food shopping or we would be sitting on the beach.
In 'real air travel' time we would just be cruising over France and sat in front of a screaming kicking kid.

It's so close to the move I can almost taste the weather. Actually I can't, but one website does show the weather two weeks from now so I can at least see it. Theyre both senses and thats a connection enough for me.

I never trust weather forescasts. Even ones from the BBC for today, they still get them wrong now and then.

The 3 day forecast I take with a pinch of salt.
Seven day forecast is more like a hopefully guess.
So a 15 day forecast is about as accurate as playing pin the tail on a donkey. With a live donkey. And your hands tied behind your back. On a raft out at sea during a hurricane.

This website though does have a 15 day forecast for Nerja. It's the only 15 day forecast I have found. Their day/week forecast is similar to this other (Spanish) one I look at, so they must have some good scientifical machines and lab coated persons.

The weather forecast for the 9 April is showing as 21C and thunderstorms, which won't please the missus, or any other haters of flying, in the slightest.

Had we moved a week earlier we would be enjoying average temperatures of 27C for the next 7 days.
Perhaps we should consider moving things forward a bit?

At least for the next 13 days I can keep an eye on the weather and prepare my airport outfit.

(Yes you might be able to tell I am a tad excited, I haven't a clue what I'll be like next week. I'll either be making a constant "eeeeee" noise that dogs a few miles away can hear, or I'll be constantly doing my best impression of Meg Ryan in New York City café)