Wednesday, 6 January 2010

In a pickle, where maybe you can help?

I'm in a complete pickle. Maybe I'm looking for advice, perhaps I just want to say this 'out loud' to see if it helps? If you can contribute any thoughts to this then please do.

So the reason I moved back to Runcorn was I wanted to be around old friends and family. My job allows me to work from anywhere in the World, well mostly anywhere, so I could of picked anywhere in the UK when returning. But I wanted to be back in Runcorn. 
And here I am.
Things are going okay for me here. I wasn't expecting huge amounts of friends to come out of the wood work but I was hoping to see a few more people then I have.
I've seen most of the friends that I think I want to get in touch with. All not as much as I want but that's understandable given the circumstances that we've just past Christmas and New Years so everyone is skint.
The thing is, is that what I have seen from friends the same topic keeps popping up; "Partners." Everyone I know is in a relationship. Some with kids, some having just purchased a house, some have even very recently just left the country themselves. Hope it wasn't to do with my return.
So after a few weeks when all is back to normal how much should I expect to see from them? The occasional night out? A weekend here or there? I was kind of hoping to go back to my old ways of phoning a friend and being out straight away. I really like human contact and go insane if I don't have some sort of conversation for more then a few hours.

The problem is, not sure if I have mentioned this, but a friend who I met in Spain, who moved back to UK before me has asked me to go work for him in his pub in March.
He has said that the job would be helping to run the pub under him, while he does some different work. Which is brilliant. This is the kind of work that I could never get. Only because I don't have any experience doing this, but I know this guy is very patient and likes to employ friends, people he knows would fit that work and could handle it.
I'd be able to carry on my current work and I'd be surrounded by real people all the time. People are ace. All of you are fantastic. 
The pub itself is a old fashioned pub with wood burning fires, in a small village but has great and fun customers. The kind were regular fancy dress parties are held, gigs by local bands, there's even a music festival on annually in the beer garden. It even gets as random and spontaneous as a posting on the pubs facebook page yesterday simply saying "who is up for building a 15 foot snowman tomorrow?"
This is the kind of thing that I would love to surround myself with.

The only thing standing in the way is that it's over a hundred miles away. If it was around the corner then I would of jumped at the chance. But this distance would mean me moving again.
The pub has rooms in it for me to rent. It has wifi so I can do my other job, so homing would not be an issue. But it would mean moving away from all the reasons why I wanted to be in Runcorn. But could be a once in a lifetime chance to do something totally different. There's plenty of trains heading back this way and I also have plans to pass my driving test asap so getting to Runcorn would never take longer then 2 hours maybe.

And I know the guy is serious about me doing this as he has been in touch again a few hours ago, asking if he could persuade me to come sooner. Hence, that's why I am here now.

I'm not sure how the pros and cons are working with this? Having spent five years away from family and friends I am liking being back. But how long will it last if friends have other commitments? And how often will a job like this come along where I'll be getting paid to entertain and talk to people and seeing lots of faces?

I've told my friend to give me until the weekend to give him an answer.
Think you can help me out before then?

(And dad if you are reading this, then we need to have a talk. Will be around Thursday but will most likely call you before you read this anyways)


Posted via email from itsmoirob's posterous


cynicalscribble said...

I'm in much the same boat with my friends. Everyone I grew up with is now in a stable relationship/married/kids/mortgage etc and yet I'm still flying the bachelor flag. Unfortunately, with partners comes a change in priorities; the days of being able to go for a quick pint at the drop of a hat have (for me at least) long gone.

If your mates are anything like mine, you'll have to book nights out weeks in advance (babysitters blah blah etc etc!).

You've got nothing to lose by trying the pub thing out. A chance to meet new people, get involved in the kind of social circle you want to be in...and to learn how to put a shamrock on a pint of Guinness. You've got nothing to lose!

jhcrow said...

Hey Robbie,
I'd jump on it! After I returned from my couple of years abroad, I too appreciated having mates/family/etc around. After having been back for over a year now and returning into routine, I'd kill to jump into a job like the pub one you've been offered.
Worst case scenario, you don't like it and move back to Runcorn...
You've been offered an awesome opportunity and when you look back in ten, twenty, fifty years I think you'd consider it negligent (strong word warranted!)if you didn't take it up.

PS: Saw your LastFM Recently played... Xx = Album of the year for me.

Anonymous said...

100 miles is what...a 2 hour drive away? I think it is a no-brainer, and I think you know that it is something you have to try. If worse comes to worse, you move back with more work experience and more job options available to you than you have now.
Never try, never know...

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I've gotta say, the picture you were painting about the pub life sounds pretty much perfect. If things at home aren't as lively when you've just returned (like, it should at least be partytown for a week or so), then sod it. Like the person above said, it's 100 miles. At the right speed, that an hours drive away. Give it a go, home will always be there but fun job opportunities definitely won't.

Ashley R said...

In all honesty, most of my friends are in relationships and I'm pretty lucky to see them twice a month. It usually takes us weeks of planning to make a dinner outing, of which will be inevitably cut short because Significant Other "needs" them. When I moved back to my parent's house, my friends all made the effort to see me at any time for 2 weeks. After they got used to me being around, it cut down to seeing them maybe a quarter of the time.

That said, I very much agree with the other people who have commented. The way you've written it, it sounds as though you are really into this pub opportunity. And you can always come back to Runcorn on days off to see friends/family. This pub job opens up a lot of possibilities for you--I'm almost inclined to say that your friends' availabilities hardly factor into it. When the effort is there on both sides, you'll see your friends. And if you do take the pub job, its possible every time you're back your friends will see you since it's not as common.

So I say, give it a shot.

Anonymous said...

I think it's a no brainer. I was in a similar situation and believe me, 4 years on from moving back, it is still very difficult to see friends. They have their lives which they built while you were away and unfortunately, it's difficult to slot into that. Maybe it's easier outside of London but I'm not sure.
Go for the pub. My philosophy has always been it's better to regret something you've done than something you haven't done.

Robbie said...

@Cynical I do really like meeting new people. I would be cool if I could learn to put a shamrock on a Guinness.

@jhcrow If I didnt take it I could certainly be kicking myself in the future at all the doors that could open from this.
And yes XX is an awesome album.
My personal favourite album of the year is Moderats self titled album. Have a listen, great stuff.

@Anonymous "Never try, never know" I like that saying.

@Jo The option of being able to easily fall back on home does make it an opportunity I shouldnt shy away from so easily.

@Ashley Yeah I'd hate it for all my friendships to turn in to a "pre-booking in whenever they are free" kind of thing. I like to be able to make spontaneous decisions for drinks out, so that wouldn't suit me very well. I'd hate being stuck with friends like that.

@Anonymous2 I pretty much have a similar philosophy, but sometimes it's trying to decide on what it is you should be doing, getting new opportunities or building bridges with lost but great and one of kind friends. These arent just like 'mates,' theyre the kind that I grew up with since a kid and influenced me in to the person I am now.

Blue soup said...

You should definitely do it. The worst that happens is you don't like it and you can go back home.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if it works out.

my sister lives in a village and has a pub like you describe with a log fire and fancy dress nights. It is the heart and soul of the village and everyone knows one another. You find that you make friends of all ages and from all walks of life. She's so happy there and they enrich her life.

give it a shot, you know it's worth the risk.

Shelby Stidham said...

Robbie... go... you have to

This probably is the only opportunity you will get to have a job that pays the bills while having a job that meets your social needs.. and if you love people and new experiences as much as you say you do than you have to do this.. you only get one life, just be braver than most and maxamize it! And like many other friends have told you in the comment section.. you can always come back. Family and friends (real ones, at least) will always accept you with open arms.

It sounds like all of your other friends are just in different stages in their life than you and maybe a new social setting would enrich your life in ways you never imagined.. I bet it would... do it.

The pub sounds amazing. It sounds like an absolutely amazing place and I think you should go there and take lots of pictures. There's nothing like that here in the states... not in California at least.. I am picturing the place in Lord of the Rings where Frodo stops on his journey.. I forget what it's called... but it sounds truly amazing.

I don't normally say stuff like this but this opportunity may be fate.. you may even meet someone (and then become a couple!) while you are there.

Anyway, good luck with your decision! Hope my input helped.