Cold feet

One of the most notable things you would spot in any given Spanish casa is lack of carpet. Anywhere.

The Spanish, at least here on the South coast, have done away with carpets. I'm not completely sure if this is a decoration thing or it is to keep mi casa y frio casa in the scorching summer months.

A desgin flaw in these tiles is that they become freezing cold in winter months. Like ridiculously cold.
Cold enough to hurt your feet.
Cold enough to make me wear these when wandering around the house and sunbathing on the balcony...(And as I work from home I do A LOT of wandering around the apartment.)

Somewhere back in the UK and old man looks for his slippers

Although they ain't all too bad...

Proud owner of a new pair of slippers. No more cold feet for me. Plus I feel about 5 inches taller in these.
3:40 PM Feb 12th from Me

But it's strange that over the past few decades that the Spanish have had this same recurring problem once a year that nothing has been done about it. I mean the Spanish like to keep their houses cool, including not having ANY central heating all this time (and they've only just discovered ovens-don't get me started on that). And it's not like this is a colder then normal winter here.

So I have only one question, how are they getting away with the cold floor problem?

Personally I suspect the Spanish have evolved these....

Penguin feet. For the coldest of cold casa floors

Now I just need to hatch a plan to get a Spanish person to remove their shoes...

Monday Monday

Its Monday morning and we all know what that means...

The shops are open again and that means I can get some PG Tips.

However there was a slight set back this morning when there was a power cut in the whole town.

Back online and working after a town wide powercut. Just what I need on a Monday morning a good (real) reason to NOT work.
25 minutes ago from Twitter

But there is something prehistoric and fun about hunting around darkened grocery stores trying to find the items you want.

But I'm pretty sure that cavemen didn't hunt PG Tips by night. Or at all.


Despite researchers attempts no evidence can be found of this type of situation.

Although this theory it might explain why they use monkies in their ads.

Anyway, back to my cuppa.

Good Bye

well i finally got to the shower...

but for some reason i did everything backwards today?

normally i go
shampoo-wash face-wash body

but today i went
wash body-wash face-shampoo

i might be entering Bizarro World

Hello, good morning!

Tit and tat

and on that note

i went for another walk in the park yesterday which i want to blog about
ive been too lazy to upload the photos on to flickr
but today ive mostly been playing around/installing various user scripts for opera, working and anything else that meant i didnt have to get out of my seat

this is due to having a very late friday night (out until they started putting the furniture away, something i havent done in a long time) and then a walk totalling 5 hours yesterday ive need a bit of a rest

but despite being a vary lazy blogger of late i want to get any unwritten posts out of my system before i go back to england for 2 weeks
which im very looking forward to
not the weather though

when theres family, theres...

...wires



phone charger
camera charger
dvd video recorder charger
dvd ac adapater
nintendo ds charger
a few adapters thrown in for good measure

not included
all wires to connect various phones & cameras to laptop headphones and laptop plugs

how it looks after everyone has left

Rain dance

Just a few days after commenting on how it hadn't rained for 4 months last night it rained. On us. Well not directly on me as I was tucked up in bed.

I had been woken up a few moments earlier by a loud clap of thunder. I was very sleepy but I knew this wasn't a dream.
I forced myself to not fall asleep--although something hadn't informed my eye's as I don't recall them being open during this--as I wanted to see if this would be a cool thunderstorm.
It wasn't.
Or I fell asleep through it.
But a few moments later, I can only assume it was a few minutes my bodyclock isn't digital, I heard rain. This woke me up. Proper. I was excited. I hadn't heard rain in a long time.
I turned over to the missus to see if she could hear what I could hear but she was already awake.
Had it not been in the middle of the night I'd of gone outside to feel the rain too but this time it was just my eyes that where awake and rest of me was asleep.
Just then another clap of thunder rolled out. But again no thunderstorm and I gently went back to sleep with the sound of heavy rain pitterpattering on the palm leaves just outside my window hypnotising me.

This morning when I woke up I opened the front blinds to find this;

Take about thirsty plants!

The local gardener was watering the plants.
But it rained last night. I heard it. I'm pretty sure it did. And the missus heard it. Is this a conspiracy? Was I just dreaming?

The thing is, it might actually be "Thirsty Plants." When these plants get watered the hose there is left on them for about 3 hours. It's only a small patch of dirt with a handful of plants on--well there is now since they had a make over.

It did rain. I'm sure it did. I didn't dream it! It had to have rained!

Things not to do on the beach

OK, it turns out that I have about 150 odd photos of the last few days to tag. This could take some time.
So while you wait more for what I did at the weekend, here is an example of what not to do on the beach.

1. Do not read a book all day

So close to the all over tan...

Breaking the law

A few people have told me horror stories about the policia in Spain. How not to cross them as they don't seem to have the same touchy feely approach as the police back home.

But I have found that some don't care about law as much as others...

The only thing missing from this photo is a basket of flowers and football by his side.
Photo 2 including partner in crime.

Lizard Spot: FAIL!

Lizard Spot sure is a fail.

The last few days I have been spotting quite a few lizards. But I am still far far too slow to photograph them (Cat if you ever get that gecko out from hiding I want some tips on how to trick them)

Although the other day, as I walked home from work, I spotted a cheeky little lizard down the centre hole of a brick. I got a few steps passed before I realised what I had spotted so I sneaked back and readied my phone/camera.

Except he/she was also too fast for me.

I did take a photograph of the said hole in a desperate attempt to see if I might accidentally snap a pic of said lizard, but I don't think it worked out.


All I can see is an empty packet of cigs and some rubbish.

This is what Lizard Spot is starting to become. Desperate Lizard Hunt.

What a shame! And after all my Good Luck in the first few days here. I though it would be a regular thing.

But if you do spot the lizard in the above picture, please point him out.

Although I am spotting other weird creatures. For instance on the way home from a meal or football watching with the missus I spotted a MASSIVE cockerrocha!

He was rather still for me and I got a few good shots. Luckily neither me or him got knocked over by any cars while messing about in the roads.


Look at how big he is! And shiney! And the size of his feely thingies! Crickey.

So Lizard Spot has been a bit of a FAIL lately, not that I'm not spotting them, I'm just not getting to photograph them.
Luckily there are other insects that are a bit more socialiting.

Time out

I wanted to write about the San Isidro festival (which is now a week old), pizzas or my hair. Anything really as it's been a while since I wrote anything about my life. But everything is on hold.

Something more important is happening shortly.
In Russia.
In fact, you may of heard about the soccerball tournament that's going on over there?

Good luck Chelsea!

Normal sporadic service will return tomorrow.

Things; They are a changin'

I'm starting to notice a few small changes around the house.
Not major ones.
They're slowly creeping in around everywhere.

A bit like that advice "if you put a frog in boiling water it will jump out; but if you slowly heat up the water then it won't notice."
At least I think that was advice? I'm not sure who it is supposed to be advice for? Why anyone would want to boil a frog, apart from a mental teen of course, I don't know?

But the changes around the house are "starting to warm up," if you like.

What I've been noticing is I think the missus is turning in to a Jew.

I have no idea why she would want to be a Jew? I've got nothing against Jews. Infact I'm not a religious man.
But I can't figure out why the missus would, at this point in her life, want to change her religion?

H'actually I don't know her religion, she might already be a Jew. A closet Jew, but I think she is a Christian. Or a Jedi. One of the two.
So I have no reason why she would want to change her religion from Jedi to Jew? Maybe it's less letters? Or she is getting fed up of the Yoda framed photo beside her bed, but I've started to notice things.
Small things.
Things that only someone who has nothing to do in his spare time and gets excited about buying Pineapples and double socket Scart leads can notice.
She is saying "oye" alot. Especially when she is tired or doing something tiring. (Which is the one way I know she isn't turning Scottish as they say "aye" when agreeing.)

It's small, but to a intelligent frog in a slightly warmer pot then 5 minutes ago, I've noticed.

The cheese just ain't the same

I've started to find that I'm getting excited about really strange things.

When my mum was over visiting she bought me Mario Kart Wii and Wii Fit. I've spent so much time on these two games (and before you ask 35. My damn Wii Fit age is 35. Stupid frickin balance board)
And it's not just me. The missus has been playing a lot more Wii and even beating me on some Mario Kart time trials.
I love these two games and they are great presents.
But I'm trying to get a point across here, bare with me.
The best present I got that week was not the games but in fact a block of cheese.

Cheese over here just isn't the same.

It's all expensive and I just want a decent block of English Mature Cheddar. But it's so hard to come by.
They do have a lot of sliced cheese or grated cheese. But just not a lot of choice on affordable blocks of cheese.
So I've not had a cheese and (Branston) pickle sandwich in weeks. I'm missing them.

Another great thing that I've bought and I'm happy about is a pineapple. I'm so pleased I've bought a pineapple.
I've never bought a whole pineapple before. I've bought half of one or tinned rings, but never a whole pineapple.
I feel like my life has moved on a lot now.

But the greatest thing I have bought in the last few days, in fact for some time, was a double socket scart adapter.
Seriously.
A simple adapter for the TV that lets me plug in my Wii and my DVD in to the TV at the same time. The TV only has one scart plug/AV channel. This causes some unnecessary time wasting.
Before yesterday if I wanted to play some Mario Kart I'd have to turn the TV around, check what scart was plugged in the TV and swap them around if needed.
If after playing some Mario Kart and then wanting to watch some Seinfeld I still have no clue what they are saying on Spanish TV so I don't watch that) then I have to turn the TV around. Unplug the Wii. Plug in the DVD and then turn the TV back round the right way.
And vice verse if swapping from the DVD to the Wii.
But now, thanks to the special magical properties of a little black box I now have both the Wii and DVD plugged in to the TV and to use one all I have to do is switch it on. I don't even need to turn the channel.

And I wouldn't give up my Mario Kart Wii or Wii Fit for any amount of blocks of cheese.

In's and out's

Well here is what I have been up to in the last few days.

Work has been pretty slow. We've not really been having people come to the sales deck so I've not had the chance to earn any cash. I've been told that more effort is being made to get people on to the sales deck this week, so hopefully I should start to be earnig some money soon. Working for €20 a day isn't great.

Life has been pretty much quite since the family left. The missus has been busy loking for a job and after work I have been trying to get some stuff sorted out that has needed to be done for a while, mainly tidying, getting a new bed and sorting out some home movies. And playing lots of Mario Kart and Wii Fit.
If you would like to see our movies then check out robbiesherman.blip.tv or look at the rss feed on the side of my blog.
Here is the video of our first day. Take in to account that we had been up since 3, been stuck out shopping for a few hours, rained on and very hungry.

Apologies about the screen size. I think the camera records in widescreen and the ratio has been messed around somewhere, not sure where.

My feet, having spoke about them in teh previous post, are fine now. I think in another week or two I might try and climb one of the large hills/small mountains outback. Or at least see how far up I can get. Although Spain does not have maps anything like Ordnance Survey maps, so I might have to take a pad and pencil and draw my own. Hopefully I'll come back with plenty of pictures though (although not sure on the quality as I won't have my regular camera.)

The weather also hasn't been great this last week. And it isn't forecast to get much better over the next week but I believe the UK has been seeing some great weather the last few days though. Lucky.....
But today will be spent in the pub. The missus has found a bar that will be showing both the Chelse and Man United games so I'll be down there in a few hours watching the last 90 minutes of the season with my fingers crossed that Chelsea pip United at the post.

Anyways, that's what I have been up to lately.

Crazy Spanish Days

There are some parts of Spanish culture that I am still trying to get used to, eating after tea after 10pm being the one that stands out the most.

Another one was Spanish cartoons. I enjoy watching Spanish childrens TV as I'm hoping it will help with my Spanish. But the other week while watching one cartoon there was a cartoon naked boy running along the screen.
Now that doesn't seem too out of place, but the artist hadn't given the cartoon boy the same shape as Ken or Action Man but had in fact given him 'bits'. This I couldn't belive.


This isn't normal, right?

Also I'd like to point out, no this isn't a cartoon of me. And secondly I can see there is a lizard on the screen and after thinking about it for some time I decided NOT to put it in Lizard Spot.

And one more photo for you today. Remember a few weeks ago I jumped off a wall and damaged my heels. Here is a photo of how the bruise looked a few days later. I don't know why it taken me so long to post this, but....

Lizard Spot 05.05

Well after a little absence lizard spot has jumped right up.

Lizard 7 was spotted while at work. It was crawling on the wall behind where some colleagues were eating.
I had to quickly describe to them my fascination with lizards and how I needed to take a photo. Next minute I'm trying to stick my hands down the back of the bench to photo this lizard.
Although I think this is a gecko not a lizard.

Photo 2

Lizard numero 8 was spotted just yesterday. On the way home from the beach with the missus parents. This one was tiny and took a while for me to point out to everyone. In fact I had to scare it a bit to make it move so people could spot it.
This one was so small that it made me wonder how I manage to be able to spot such small reptiles.
Can you spot it?

Photo 2 might be easier?

Lizard number 9 was spotted today as we headed to work. I seen a little rustling about in the scrub beside the path. I grabbed hold of the missus and quickly said "don't move."
As she had no clue, she freaked out and shook thinking something vicious and scary was about to eat her, possibly a t-rex.
I explained it was a different kind of lizard and tried to get a photo of it, but it was to quick and ran away.
Sorry no photo. :(

Lizard Spot: 9


It's not just lizard's that I have spotted.
While heading the beach the other day the missus spotted this guy throwing himself off a wall (a bit similar to what I did a few weeks back)

Photo 2 Photo 3

Also while on the way home late one evening I spotted a big train of ants walking about. Now these were massive ants. Really big. About the length of a finger nail.
This one stood out the most to me, it was trying to carry the biggest sun flower seed I have ever seen.
I recommend you check out the larger photo.

Get rich fast and die trying

I have found a new favourite website.

Starnow.

You can find jobs for a variety of different media vacancies, like being Miss England, being a TV extra, a musician or photographer.

Some of my favourite are from the Magazines and Newspapers section. This really is were journalism sells out. I'm not sure if this is a contributing factor to the state of journalism today or a product.
Basically you will be paid for writing stories of various problems you've had or things happen to you.

Some of my favourite ones are;

Did Computer Games Make You Turn To a Life of Crime?
A national newspaper wants your story and will pay hundreds of pounds to the right person.
Write a few lines about how computer games turned you to crime and if it's something we like, we'll call you straight back.

"Yes I was playing Mario Kart when I decided to go joy ride and chuck turtle shells at people in front of me. Although the downside was someone through some squid ink in my eyes and I couldn't see for 30 seconds."

My brush with facebook
Have you missed out on a job opportunity or discovered your partner was having an affair through using facebook?
Have you been sacked because of a silly picture you had on your site?
A woman's glossy weekly magazine wants to hear from you and will pay for your time and trouble.
Please apply now to take part or for more information.

I can imagine everyone, of you female readers, will be able to add 2cents to that.

Playing the same lotto numbers for more than 10 years and never won?
Have you been playing the same lotto numbers for ten years or more each week but are not giving up.
I need your story - I need to speak to you for a series I am doing for a women's magazine
Please include your phone number in reply as it is often not in the profile.
You'll be interviewed on the phone, need to provide a couple of pics as well
Please apply now to take part or for more information.

There is something great about loyalty. But you have to learn when to change.

Weird and wacky weddings
Did you opt for something out of the ordinary when you tied the knot?
A women's magazine is looking for brides who bucked the white wedding trend. So maybe you made your big day fancy dress, your dog was a bridesmaid, or you got married with dolphins?
Whatever your story, if you haven't appeared in a women's magazine before then please apply today....

What are the chances Jordan is thinking "damn it, if I change my name to Jordont will anyone recognise my wedding photos"?
If any story can get printed without a personal quote from the bride saying "people have always said I'm a bit mental hehe" then I will gladly except that journalism is only just hitting it's peak.

Is your name Jesus or do you have a birthday on 25th Dec?
Is your name Jesus first or middle?
Do you have a birthday on Dec 25th?
I would love to hear form you for a UK womens magazine story.
You will be interviewed on phone, need to send pics and possibly take part in photo shoot.
Please include your phone number I reply as I am under deadline
Please no time wasters - only apply if you are prepared to be involved in the article.

I don't even know where to start with this.
How did they get this idea past the editor?
What made them think this would be good?
Have they already cleared some space above the fireplace for their Pulitzer?
What made them think writing "please no time wasters" would deter anyone?
Do they have the internet in Longview Psychiatric Unit?
Will this be there lead story?

Anyway, I highly recommend you check out the site. You might be able to make some extra cash. If your story gets published just remember me ;)

Happy April Fools

Happy April Fools day people. This is always one of my favourite days as I like taking part in, reading about, seeing practical jokes.

Unfortunately I haven't got the chance to carry out any practical jokes as the missus was far too asleep this morning to realise I would even be speaking to her.

But really it doesn't get any better then this

The Cottingley Fairies.

I salute you Frances Griffiths and Elsie Wright, great work. Genius stuff from some creative kids.

Obviously some modern day ones are taken far too seriously, like this one from The Sun saying Fabio Capello can't be bothered learning English so has told the England squad to learn Italian.
Some of the 'Reader Comments' are pretty idiotic. Football fans at times can be a proper stupid bunch.
One fan Man United fan said "The clue is in the job title, "England Manager", if you cant lean it, take a hike!"

What has been your favourite practical joke, either in popular culture or something more personal to you?
Have you done any pranks this morning?

PS, I'd just like to add, my favourite piece of news today, in a non-joke way, is the reports of the man who lost his house over the weekend when the plane crashed in to it. With the greatest respect to the pilot and crews families, I couldn't help but smile at news that the man of the house won't be returning home just yet as he is finishing off his golfing holiday and his wife has good taste so she can do the decorating.

I can't believe it's spreadable.

On a recent Big Shop we picked up a different butter to normal, due to our prefered bread spread not having a smaller tub size.
But not all went too plan.

This other brand boasts that it's Spreadable, which is always a selling point in my eyes. If a butter/margarine can spread on bread within seconds of being taken out of the fridge, WITHOUT leaving holes then thats just perfect. (Something our favoured brand does, without boasting)

This butter , despite having Spreadable on its lid and sides, just tore up my bread when taken out of the fridge due to it being too hard.

No problem we can just leave it on the side.
This though, I feel, makes the Spreadable wording on lid and sides pretty pointless as all butter is Spreadable at room temperature, thats a Fact.
So what they are advertising here is basically the natural properties of putter. If they were in the bottled water business would they stick 'Wet' on the sides of their bottles?

But this specially Spreadable butter turns in to some sort of thick soup when left a room temperature.

A soupy butter

Soup butter is far too runny. It acts like an oil on the bread, rather being one with the bread. It falls off the knife causing a mess. It doesn't have the same 'mouth-feel.'
It's. Just. Not. Butter.

Now I have to think about sandwiches 15 minutes earlier to give myself enough preperation. And it doesn't help that the clocks went forward and hour, now I can't tell if I would like a tasty sandwich or if I had just had one?

What the frek where the butter guys thinking when they decided to make a Spreadable butter that was too hard when in the fridge and too runny when at room temperature? Those fools!

PS Please no one comment on the differences between butter and margarine. I've taken some artistic lisence.

¿qué tiempo hace hoy?

Or What is the weather like doing* today?
*It's important to treat the weather like a person, it "does" stuff, it does not "like stuff, ie walks on the beach, late nights out with friends."

It's getting close to the Big Move.

If we were able to fast forward two weeks, right now me and the missus would be either doing what we should and food shopping or we would be sitting on the beach.
In 'real air travel' time we would just be cruising over France and sat in front of a screaming kicking kid.

It's so close to the move I can almost taste the weather. Actually I can't, but one website does show the weather two weeks from now so I can at least see it. Theyre both senses and thats a connection enough for me.

I never trust weather forescasts. Even ones from the BBC for today, they still get them wrong now and then.

The 3 day forecast I take with a pinch of salt.
Seven day forecast is more like a hopefully guess.
So a 15 day forecast is about as accurate as playing pin the tail on a donkey. With a live donkey. And your hands tied behind your back. On a raft out at sea during a hurricane.

This website though does have a 15 day forecast for Nerja. It's the only 15 day forecast I have found. Their day/week forecast is similar to this other (Spanish) one I look at, so they must have some good scientifical machines and lab coated persons.

The weather forecast for the 9 April is showing as 21C and thunderstorms, which won't please the missus, or any other haters of flying, in the slightest.

Had we moved a week earlier we would be enjoying average temperatures of 27C for the next 7 days.
Perhaps we should consider moving things forward a bit?

At least for the next 13 days I can keep an eye on the weather and prepare my airport outfit.

(Yes you might be able to tell I am a tad excited, I haven't a clue what I'll be like next week. I'll either be making a constant "eeeeee" noise that dogs a few miles away can hear, or I'll be constantly doing my best impression of Meg Ryan in New York City café)

Friends forever

So this weekend took our count of major things to do before we move down by one. We entertained some of my friends and had a final big night out with all the missus friends too.
By the end of the night there had been plenty of offers and requests for a space staying on the new couch, which is always a nice sign.


Most of Friday was filled thanks to the guys over at Nintendo and passing the time away with some old gaming favourites, mainly Golden Axe.

I was with all the guys.

Games continued with a "Who can unintentionnally pull the funniest face" game.

The missus had a good time with the girls too


There was plenty of drink and some dancing, not by all but some enjoyed it more then others.


Easter had been forgotten about for most of the night until we walked out of the club and right in to a parade, which had a good turn out.


Towards the end of the night there were tired feet and heads. A few tears, making up with arch nemisis, missing coats and the next morning had some of the previous nights heavy drinkers with a huge day lasting hangover and generally feeling of sick.

But overall everyone had a good night.


Usual slideyshow